We’ve all been there. You’re standing in front of your husband, describing the killer outfit you just bought and how much it was on sale for when he looks up from his phone and begins to talk. What he’s saying is completely unrelated to what you were talking about, and this exchange becomes so frustrating that you want to break a dinner plate over his head (and then maybe yours). Luckily, there are a few ways including husband and wife fight quotes to get your husband to listen when you’re talking.
What you should take away from this is that men are more likely to listen when they’re relaxed, not hungry or tired, and not distracted or angry. If your husband is in one of these states of mind and you have something important to say it’s probably worth waiting until a later time.
I know it’s really hard for me when my wife says I’m being too sensitive about something, but when she says this I start thinking about how she doesn’t understand me at all and how much she disrespects me. So instead of getting into an argument with her about whether or not I am being too sensitive about our friend’s comments regarding my social media posts (which were very funny), I would rather just go play video games for an hour while eating chips and salsa than sit down with her and try to work through it.
Once you’ve gotten your husband’s attention, it’s time to speak. But how do you get him to really listen? There are several different ways:
Use a direct approach, be clear about what you want him to do and why it’s important for him to do it. If he senses that you’re nervous or hesitant about speaking up, he’ll ignore what you say.
Use eye contact when speaking with him and avoid looking away, even if it makes his eyes uncomfortable or awkward for both of you since this will signal weakness on your part as well as make him feel disrespected (and possibly ashamed) by how much attention is being paid towards.
Yes, keep your message short and simple. Don’t fill your husband’s head with too much information at once. Don’t overwhelm him with too many details. Don’t be afraid to be brief. Don’t be afraid to be clear. And most importantly, don’t be afraid to repeat yourself if necessary.
Remember, men are creatures of habit, they like things done their way and then forgotten about as soon as possible. And nothing says “I love you” like an easy-to-understand list of instructions for doing a task that only requires one hand tied behind his back at a time (no need for both).
Another important thing to remember is that it’s okay to repeat yourself when necessary. If you don’t feel like your husband is listening and responding, don’t be afraid to repeat yourself until he does.
Let him know that this isn’t a one-time request or conversation — it’s an ongoing dialogue in which he needs to actively engage. This will keep the two of you from getting into a power struggle over who has control of their relationship because both partners will be working together towards the same goal.
Another important thing you need to do is pick your battles. One of the biggest reasons men don’t listen to women is because they get too emotional and sensitive about everything.
So, unless it’s something that really affects your life, like being late for work or not having enough money for groceries, let it go and move on with your life.
Don’t make everything into a massive drama that has the potential to ruin the relationship. This can happen when we take things too personally or feel offended by every little thing our husband does or says, even if he doesn’t mean anything by it.
Instead of looking at things from a “you did this” perspective (which will lead to feelings of anger), look at them from an “I am feeling this way” standpoint instead (which will lead to feelings of sadness).
Asking your husband to define what he hears you saying is a great way to bridge the gap between you because it gives him a chance to make sure that he’s heard, and understood, everything that was said. In this case, there are a few possible ways in which he can do so:
- He can summarize it. This is when someone goes through all of the information they’ve heard and summarized it in his own words. If done well, this method can be very helpful for both parties involved because it gives them a chance to go over what was said once again, this time from his perspective rather than yours.
- He can repeat back what he heard you say (in other words). This is one of my personal favorites because it allows me an opportunity to correct any miscommunication right away without wasting any more time or energy on things that don’t matter at this point in time. I’m sure your husband feels similarly about it too.
Another important step is to be open-minded when he’s talking to you. Don’t be too quick to judge, jump to conclusions or assume that you know what he is thinking or feeling.
You’ll probably get a lot farther if you listen for the actual words of what he’s saying, rather than just assuming that his tone means something else.
The important thing here is not to react until after he has finished talking and it will help if you can ask him about what he meant by certain things he said so there are no misunderstandings between the two of you later on down the line.